- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

What swims in the ocean? Fish

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

Poop swing

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

No.

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

Women's rights.

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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