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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

what do you call a gay guy Ej

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

I pooped.

A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

An irish man walks out of a bar

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

You're welcome!

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

Roses are red, Violets are purple

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

i dont like chris

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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