Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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