Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is your face? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops