Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

Your mums a penis joke.

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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