Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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69

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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