why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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