Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Republicans

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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