What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

Nicolas Cage's acting.

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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