There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Billy Cundiff.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Go Away

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

thumb_up thumb_down +15

im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Pinus Testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops