- Anti Joke

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

What's the best joke in the world? This one.

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

Hi

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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