Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A mans opinion.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Thumbs this down

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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