Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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its snowing on mount fuji

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A ginger was with his friends

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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