Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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you lose.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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refridgrator

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Take this and put it- No.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops