What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

why was 6 afraid of 7?

What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

BOTTOM!!!

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

Gorden Brown.

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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