Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Basically copying you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a joke? Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops