What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops