Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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