Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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u jelly?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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That's what she didn't say

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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