Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Top Gear USA

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your going to die

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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BOTTOM!!!

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops