Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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raisin boogers

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops