What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops