What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Paige

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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