Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

69

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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