- Anti Joke

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

A blind man walks into a pole.

knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

falling didnt make the difference

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

Aodhan peanut head Hearty

Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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