Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

Sac

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

Knock knock. Racism.

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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