What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops