What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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your going to die

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my shift key is broken1

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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What's the difference between a duck

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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My name is Harry.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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