Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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split your ass cheek

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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