A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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your mum

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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