What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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A black guy gets a job...

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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you lose.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Take this and put it- No.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops