Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

thumb_up thumb_down +22

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +20

pickle sniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops