Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Scott Gomez

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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