What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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