Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Hi

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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