What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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