Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Knock knock. Racism.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Dance is a sport

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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