Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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A black guy gets a job...

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Harry Styles

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops