How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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Muslim athletes.

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These Jokes suck.

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69

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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charlie sheen losing

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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