A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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The Bible

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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