What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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