What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +8

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -142

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

thumb_up thumb_down +1

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops