What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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Nippies

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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