What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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this is not an anti joke

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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This is not an anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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