Do you like your life? No. OK.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Black People

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops