An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops