EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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