A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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I ponder

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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