Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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womens rights

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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That's what she didn't say

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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