A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Bob dole

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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25

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops