SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops