How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Bob dole

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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25

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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