A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops